Say no to San Pellegrino
September 28, 2017
From pumpkin spice lattes, Four Locos and craft beers to the nascent stages of Coca Cola over 100 years ago, a constant cultural fixture is trendy beverages.
There comes a point where simply drinking water every time someone is parched becomes boring.
That’s where trendy beverages come in. However, the growing popularity of carbonated mineral water such as Italy’s San Pellegrino and France’s Perrier is baffling.
In coffee shops and supermarkets around the country these distinctive beverages in green bottles stand out like a polished emerald.
Once the $2.50 16 oz. bottle of mildly carbonated water is purchased the disappointment strikes after one sip and hits in two stages.
The first stage begins when the drink hits the tongue.
Naturally, one would expect carbonated mineral water to have some bite.
There is no bite. Instead the taste holds the taste buds hostage with a bitter, under-carbonated taste and a flavor somewhere between watered down Kool-Aid and an open soda that spent the better part of its days sitting a hot car. The second stage is the aftertaste that lingers after it’s swallowed.
Mineral water contains a particular aftertaste that ends the experience with a deflating feeling.
Once the initial realization that the drink isn’t good passes, the taste overstays its welcome as a constant reminder of the disappointment.
After the bad first sip, the human ego takes over and the internal voice said, “I paid $2.50 for this damn drink, I’m gonna’ finish it.”
This is a bad decision.
Now it becomes stubbornness taking over rational thought.
While trying to think about why people enjoy the beverage, it becomes more confusing, considering how easy it is to find merits for why people like every other trendy beverage.
Pumpkin spice lattes are seasonal and retain their novelty.
Four Locos could take a person from sober to black out faster than you can even say San Pellegrino. Colas have a distinct biting taste when chilled that begs the taste buds for one more sip.
But San Pellegrino and Perrier? I just don’t get it.
Mineral water drinkers fall into a wide spectrum as to why they enjoy the drink.
Some genuinely like the taste, some want to be healthy, others don’t know better and lie to themselves.
Many people use the drink as a way to wean themselves off drinking too much soda while not turning to coffee or sugary drinks.
There are many non-soda alternatives for people to drink instead of mineral water that aren’t a tall glass of sugary apple juice or a coffee beverage.
Take tea for example.
Tea can provide the same subtle taste the mineral water drinkers desire without the aftertaste issues and weak carbonation. Plus, tea is still primarily water and not filled with sugar like sodas or juices.
The flavors of teas are more distinct and varied and it’s easy to control how subtle, strong or bitter the taste is depending on how long the tea is steeped.
There is also the ability to have it served hot or cold and caffeinated or non-caffeinated.
If the mineral content is important then take a multivitamin before drinking a tall glass of tap water.
In bottled water, or for the fancy — premium boxed water.
If the carbonation is important there are plenty of non-mineral water sparking beverages available with stronger taste and better carbonation. Go to a local Safeway or other grocery store and there will be store-brand sparkling water in a variety of flavors.
There is a world of beverages out there that offers a better taste than carbonated mineral water like San Pellegrino; Italy’s worst export since fascism, and Perrier.
Next time the thought creeps into your mind to buy the green bottle or a friend offers you one, just say no.
Mo • Apr 7, 2021 at 3:16 am
lol
Annoyed by the comments • Feb 6, 2021 at 6:50 am
It’s called an opinion essay people. By a paper put out by a college. 😬😱🙄 I was ready to dismiss it too, but started reading. I more or less disagree now, but certainly didn’t in college. It’s written like a well thought out assignment. It’s funny, & great writing compared to MOST of the crap & click bait you’ll find on the internet these days! No, it does not reflect my opinion, and yes, I only read to a certain point…. but enough to know it was well written. He is entitled to his feelings & thus his opinions.😱 That’s the problem with the “Wedgies” of the world & their Cancel Culture. They feel so entitled to their own opinion that they miss how ridiculous it is to even be bothered by others opinions, thus feeling the need to dismiss one even if it’s just about WATER! Who cares that he doesn’t like it. …that said, the Author should totally suck it up, & now do a piece comparing all of the different sparkling mineral waters out there. 😏😁! It will be funny. I personally like the grapefruit, & coconut lacroix. & found this article bc of how different Costco’s version is to the Pellegrino. Definitely large bubbles & maybe a bitter taste to the Costco one. Hahaha enjoy!
Mike • Jan 9, 2021 at 8:50 pm
Great article. Completely true and funny. More than a few people who replied need to chill the fook out, they’re wound way too tight.
Ty • Dec 15, 2020 at 1:18 pm
I hope your just being funny. Taste is always acquired… and that’s for anything! I love sparkling water and Pellegrino is the best in my opinion. Like someone else said not overly carbonated and also not too salty.
And To the person/idiot with the “Silly negro/Grape Soda” comment… you sound more silly and clueless than the writer. Go kick rocks!
-Signed Tyrone (Sips His Glass Of Pellegrino with pink in air)
David • Dec 3, 2020 at 11:04 am
Just bought a case for $10 and I’m enjoying it cold. I don’t prefer seltzer water as it’s too carbonated. This is a nice change from flat bottled water. I just read where there are some health benefits with drinking hard water also. Variety is the spice of life.
Master Oogway • Nov 16, 2020 at 6:55 am
The person above this comment is obviously a renowned filosefer. And Buffy Bufferton went a lil too far ngl.
Alichia M Mccomb • Nov 7, 2020 at 9:28 pm
You are a great writer, such a shame to waste your talent bad mouthing mineral water. You simply could have said, “you personally dont like it”! I think Perrier and San pelligrino both taste great, it has a clean taste, gives the kick of soda without any sugar, and actually contain minerals your body needs. If you prefer to drink aluminum canned sparkling acid with no nutritional value thats your business!
mariam • Nov 1, 2020 at 6:54 am
What’s obvious and very prominent here it’s not hard to see that people are very cruel even about carbonated water for god sakes.
Whats wrong with people is just lack if emoathy. The word Humane certainly does not come from the word human I will never believe that, ever.
Ronna D Schultz • Sep 16, 2020 at 3:29 pm
I agree. It’s terrible. And this was a funny article. Nicely written.
Joseph Smith • Aug 25, 2020 at 7:58 pm
Life is short and hard enough as it is. Learn to appreciate carbonated water be it Perrier, San Pellegrino, or any other carbonated water.
Sniggitysnail • May 6, 2020 at 2:35 pm
You’re a retard. S. Pellegrino is not for the common pigeon. Ass
Victoria GOLUCHI • Mar 15, 2020 at 11:40 am
I LOVE IT .It is like champagne to me.
Victoria GOLUCH • Mar 15, 2020 at 11:39 am
I love San Pellrgrino. Wish it was not so expensive . It is healthy high in magnesium. I just bought 2 bottles on sale for 3 dollars
I love the way it tastes. Some places when you eat out gouge prices. It’s ridiculous how much they charge. To me it is like champagne I love it.
Victoria GOLUCHVictoria • Mar 15, 2020 at 11:38 am
I love San Pellrgrino. Wish it was not so expensive . It is healthy high in magnesium. I just bought 2 bottles on sale for 3 dollars
I love the way it tastes. Some places when you eat out gouge prices. It’s ridiculous how much they charge. To me it is like champagne I love it.
RL • Dec 26, 2018 at 11:08 pm
San Pellegrino was initially sold as flat wages, however, only the *exact* amount of carbonation needed in order to preserve its mineral contents is added. It’s not under carbonated. On the contrary, we should be singing it’s praises for not being unnecessarily over carbonated.
adrian • May 24, 2018 at 10:32 am
This is such a one sided and obnoxious piece of writing.
Also, Perrier is French, not Italian. you DUMBASS
Rob Clinton • May 25, 2018 at 10:05 am
He did say it was from France. Third sentence – “mineral water such as Italy’s San Pellegrino and France’s Perrier”. Thanks for reading/skimming?
Lorenzo Morotti • Oct 16, 2017 at 12:02 pm
Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad.
Irania Lothnroje • Oct 14, 2017 at 2:10 pm
Probably tastes better with Torani and half and half.