The Advocate

Women aren’t rehab centers for entitled men

By Jessica Suico, News Editor

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When most people think of the word rehab, they think of a center with doctors who help motivate a person to kick a drug addiction.
Many people have no idea that as humans, we sometimes siphon the strength of people who are close to us and use their compassion as rehabilitation centers.
Women feel the brunt of this occurrence when it comes to relationships or through simple friendships with men.
We are the stronger sex and offer a wealth of empathy and support — if a man is deemed worthy of deserving it.
Women have an inner glow that attracts broken puzzles yearning assembly (men).
Everyone deals with issues — that’s life.
I have seen and been a victim of men attempting to use me as their cushy rehab facility.
They expect us to take on their problems, ride shotgun on their emotional roller coasters while remaining calm through their aggression and perpetual brokenness.
Some men see women as their calming oasis in a turbulent sea. They narcissistically see a partner as a tool for self-improvement as evident by common boyfriend sayings like “you make me a better man” and “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
People can get addicted to the feeling of being with someone who confides in them. The sense of comfort and affection can feel like addiction to a drug.
Men expect extreme measures out of women. And we must be strong, provide, care for others’ needs, uphold a respectable image while also maintaining sex appeal.
If children are involved, then women must be a mother, wife and lover mixed with everything else the world throws at them.
If one of these things goes out of whack, the man will see it and his aggression will bubble to the surface.
Most men are intimidated by strong women because they want to be emotionally stronger than women.
But, in reality, deep down they know that’s not possible.
Men never blame themselves when they’re in rehab. It’s just that the strong women in their lives have broken down.
They see it as her failure and often men can’t see that they are the ones to blame for their problems — so they unleash on the women like a hurricane.
Eleven years ago, R&B artist Rihanna released a song titled “Rehab.”
The song is about a man she fell for who was an amazing lover in the beginning, but then turned into a dark soul of a man.
Rihanna said, “I got to check into rehab because you’re my disease.”
In the moment, her position of strength slipped because of the addictive nature of an emotional connection.
She knows she can’t help anyone because she can barely help herself. All of her strength went to the man and now she must go regain her strength, and part of herself, back.
She knows she is addicted to his presence and if she stays it will most likely kill her (emotionally).
Women get caught up in feelings of love and affection and get blindsided when we know otherwise. It all depends on how strong the women is and if an emotionally broken man is going to drive her away — or draw her in closer to fix the problems.

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The Student Voice Of Contra Costa College, San Pablo, Calif.
Women aren’t rehab centers for entitled men